poeticdream and me talking about painting the hallway:

me: "I'm going to paint the wall and drink beer, and then... [pauses for dramatic effect, then sways back and forth a bit] i'll be high!"
abigail_m whines: "i wish i could paint the walls and get high..."
me: "someday I'm sure you will, Abby."

it reminds me of a conversation Lindsay Leclair had with her mom when she was in high school: Lindsay: "I don't think I'll ever do drugs mom, I just don't get the point." her mom: "oh, you'll do them..."

last night abigail_m was drawing in her sketchbook. she said she was drawing a few different things. first she said she drew a ballerina, which looked like a mass of random scribbles and chicken scratches. then she said "penis!", which was a bit of a nonsequitur, but i came over to look and indeed, she had drawn a penis.

why is it that my 3 year old can draw penises?

The scene: Just now as abigail_m and I were walking up our driveway to the street level we saw two police cars that had pulled over someone for who-knows-what. The cops had the perp out of the car and were talking to him and rummaging around in his car.

me: "hey! they blocked the driveway!"
abigail_m: "what?"
me: "look, those two police cars parked right in front of our driveway!"
Abby: "yeah! it's like they think it's a parking lot!"

Abby will be three on Monday.

setting: earlier, at WRFR.

cast: abigail_m, poeticdream, and yours truly, riffraff.

[Abby produces a chocolate, by sleight of hand or magic, we're not sure which]

Robin, incredulously: "Abby, where'd you get chocolate from?"

Abby, triumphantly: "From my pocket!"

Robin: ...

Kim: *sputters and hyperventilates, laughing out of control*

Abby: "Take a deep breath..."

Robin: ...
Kim: ... *takes a deep breath*

abigail_m has declared that while egg noodles shall still be called egg noodles, tortellini shall henceforth be called "tiny pasta"

earlier:

me: "ready for dinner?"
abigail_m: "noooo....."
me: "why not? aren't you hungry?"
abby: "i am, but... I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER dot com" *grin*
me: ...

poeticdream: "I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want some coffee?"
abigail_m: "No, I don't like coffee!"
Robin: "Why not?"
Abby: "Because it's too caffeinated."

Abby and I played a game of Crazy Eights and she tied me. so, I guess she's gonna be a card shark. Anyone want to play her?

abigail_m, smacking me on the chest lightly with a diaper (for emphasis) as we walk to change her diaper: "after *smack* this *smack* set of diapers *smack* I'm *smack* potty-trained. OK?"
me: "o rly?"
abby: "yes."

this is how it goes with her, she wears the old paradigm into the ground, then, one day out of the blue she chooses a new one and, more often than not, sticks with it.

abigail_m: "can i borrow your credit card because i don't have a credit card"

me: "I have pizza, yes I do. I like pizza, how about you?"
abigail_m: "I do!"
me: "that rhymes!"
poeticdream: "woohoo!"
me: "that does too!"

I didn't know Abby knew the word "combine/combining."

srsly. big. vocabulary. for a two year old.

also: the other day she said (during a radio station meeting, nonetheless) "my vulva hurts!" later, when we called the doctor's office to see what was up, apparently the nurse was impressed with her self-diagnosis, using the word vulva. ("she said what? .. she said 'vulva'? .. and she knows what that means, that that refers to her parts? .. wow.")

today she announced that when she pees it no longer hurts her vulva. yay.

abby: "winking, blinking, winking blinking ..."
me: "fireflies at night."
abby: "but what's the rest of it?"
me: "i don't remember."
abby: "me either. i should google it."
me: "and, how would you do this?"
abby: "i would get on my computer and look for it on the internet."

poeticdream, to me: "When you were first learning to drive it was annoying when people would signal one way and then turn the other way. That's so fucking annoying!"

abigail_m, sounding slightly disappointed in her mommy: "Don't say 'fucking'!. I've told you so many times!"

[robin and I just sit there blinking and laughing at each other]

right after I got home tonight and was welcomed by poeticdream and abigail_m on the back deck the following conversation took place:

abby: "i pooped!"
me: "okay, I'll change your diaper then."
abby: "we need to go inside."
me: "okay, we'll go inside, get a diaper, and then we'll come back out and I'll change your diaper."
abby: "no, not right here."
me: "abby, I need to change your diaper."
abby: "noooooooo!"
me *puzzled*: "why not?"
abby: "because, if you change me out here on the deck and poop comes out, it'll be a poop deck!"

(as relayed by poeticdream)

abigail_m, after hearing a weather report on MPBN: "he said thunderstorms! he said thunderstorms! that makes me happy! that makes me so happy!!"

abby's sitting on her potty at her kitchen set. she can multitask!

as read here, the local indie toy store is having a huge Harry Potter bash tonight starting at 11PM and going till the wee hours. And I quote:

Planet Toys, 318 Main St., will open its doors 11 p.m. Friday. Upon entering via Platform 9 3/4, Potter fans will be sorted into one of the four Hogwarts Houses and given an Official House Crest. They will compete for house points in all games, Quidditch matches and wizarding classes under their Official House Banner. Games on Diagon Alley will include Free a House Elf, Labyrinth Races, Golden Egg Toss and Pin the Tail on a Dursley.

There will be a costume contest for those who come dressed as their favorite character. Best costume will win the latest top-of-the-line Wizard Racing Broom, the Sienna Storm, handmade by the amazing artisans of Diagon Alley.

Partygoers can stop by the Hogwarts Tea Trolley and dare to sample a Bertie's Botts Every Flavor bean. They can see Dumbledore, Mad Eye Moody, Snape and many more of Harry's contemporaries and visit the House of Slytherin to see a menagerie of live, exotic and magical creatures from Wildlife Encounters of Rochester, N.H., even have a picture taken with a live boa.

There will be a Hogwarts class about such subjects as potions, charms, astronomy and Muggles studies. One may buy a wand at Ollivanders or make one with an Ollivanders assistant. Brooms, wands and other magical merchandise will be available for purchase on Diagon Alley.

Those who pre-order the book through Thursday will receive a 30 percent discount. Planet Toys’ Camden store, 10 Main St., will start its party 8 a.m. Saturday with Bertie Bott muffins and a dramatic reading of the last chapter of “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.” For more information or to pre-order copies of the book, call 236-4410 in Camden or 596-5976 in Rockland.

I hope Abby will love it. I know Robin and I will! (and yes, I pre-ordered the book from Amazon. If anyone lets loose a spoiler, I shall AVADA KEDAVRA them.)

abigail_m has her own bed now; we got it and put it in her room the day before yesterday after much anticipation of "i'm getting my own bed!"

fast-forward a couple of hours, and i had the bright idea to have her sleep in it. problems with this idea:

1. it was late, poeticdream was tired, but abby? not so much, what with all the excitement over her new bed and the disorganization that moving it in created.
   
2. i didn't realize that robin was thinking of easing her into sleeping in her bed by sleeping in her room with her for a few days first before letting her sleep solo (an excellent idea).
   
3. we didn't want speedy4prez peeing on our bed, but we couldn't close the bedroom door because we wanted to keep an ear out for abby to see if she cried or wanted us, so keeping the door open was mandatory. because of that i spent a lot of time looking for a mattress protector to put over our mattress, only to find that i have no idea where our king-sized mattress protector went off to. easy solution? put speedwell in the crate overnight.
   

despite these bumps, abby seemed to enjoy her bed and robin and i got to sleep around 11ish, ushering in a new era of non-co-sleeping and luxurious king-sized-bed sprawling between robin and i. i'm proud of you, abby!

sayeth abigail_m, pointing out the dining room window: "I want to look out the window because there's a screensaver out there!"