poeticdream and me talking about painting the hallway:

me: "I'm going to paint the wall and drink beer, and then... [pauses for dramatic effect, then sways back and forth a bit] i'll be high!"
abigail_m whines: "i wish i could paint the walls and get high..."
me: "someday I'm sure you will, Abby."

it reminds me of a conversation Lindsay Leclair had with her mom when she was in high school: Lindsay: "I don't think I'll ever do drugs mom, I just don't get the point." her mom: "oh, you'll do them..."

The scene: Just now as abigail_m and I were walking up our driveway to the street level we saw two police cars that had pulled over someone for who-knows-what. The cops had the perp out of the car and were talking to him and rummaging around in his car.

me: "hey! they blocked the driveway!"
abigail_m: "what?"
me: "look, those two police cars parked right in front of our driveway!"
Abby: "yeah! it's like they think it's a parking lot!"

Abby will be three on Monday.

setting: earlier, at WRFR.

cast: abigail_m, poeticdream, and yours truly, riffraff.

[Abby produces a chocolate, by sleight of hand or magic, we're not sure which]

Robin, incredulously: "Abby, where'd you get chocolate from?"

Abby, triumphantly: "From my pocket!"

Robin: ...

Kim: *sputters and hyperventilates, laughing out of control*

Abby: "Take a deep breath..."

Robin: ...
Kim: ... *takes a deep breath*

earlier:

me: "ready for dinner?"
abigail_m: "noooo....."
me: "why not? aren't you hungry?"
abby: "i am, but... I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER dot com" *grin*
me: ...

poeticdream: "I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want some coffee?"
abigail_m: "No, I don't like coffee!"
Robin: "Why not?"
Abby: "Because it's too caffeinated."

abigail_m, smacking me on the chest lightly with a diaper (for emphasis) as we walk to change her diaper: "after *smack* this *smack* set of diapers *smack* I'm *smack* potty-trained. OK?"
me: "o rly?"
abby: "yes."

this is how it goes with her, she wears the old paradigm into the ground, then, one day out of the blue she chooses a new one and, more often than not, sticks with it.

abigail_m: "can i borrow your credit card because i don't have a credit card"

me: "I have pizza, yes I do. I like pizza, how about you?"
abigail_m: "I do!"
me: "that rhymes!"
poeticdream: "woohoo!"
me: "that does too!"

when did my daughter learn the word "officially"?

abby: "winking, blinking, winking blinking ..."
me: "fireflies at night."
abby: "but what's the rest of it?"
me: "i don't remember."
abby: "me either. i should google it."
me: "and, how would you do this?"
abby: "i would get on my computer and look for it on the internet."

poeticdream, to me: "When you were first learning to drive it was annoying when people would signal one way and then turn the other way. That's so fucking annoying!"

abigail_m, sounding slightly disappointed in her mommy: "Don't say 'fucking'!. I've told you so many times!"

[robin and I just sit there blinking and laughing at each other]

right after I got home tonight and was welcomed by poeticdream and abigail_m on the back deck the following conversation took place:

abby: "i pooped!"
me: "okay, I'll change your diaper then."
abby: "we need to go inside."
me: "okay, we'll go inside, get a diaper, and then we'll come back out and I'll change your diaper."
abby: "no, not right here."
me: "abby, I need to change your diaper."
abby: "noooooooo!"
me *puzzled*: "why not?"
abby: "because, if you change me out here on the deck and poop comes out, it'll be a poop deck!"

(as relayed by poeticdream)

abigail_m, after hearing a weather report on MPBN: "he said thunderstorms! he said thunderstorms! that makes me happy! that makes me so happy!!"

i like this Thomas Jefferson quote: "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

sayeth abigail_m, pointing out the dining room window: "I want to look out the window because there's a screensaver out there!"

GLUTEN LOG.

this post is brought to you by abigail_m, poeticdream, sleep-deprivation, and wheat hamburger buns shaped like phalli.

(abby, just now: "freakin' turn off the light, dude!")

me: "cats purr when they're happy. what do you do when you're happy?"
abigail_m: "i laugh at people."

me: "abby, stop dilly-dallying! you know, the longer you just lay on the ground instead of putting on your jacket, the longer it'll be before we can go outside and play in the snow..."

abigail_m: "eat the booger!" *sticks out her finger with a booger she picked*

... "eat it!"

me: "ahh." *sits on the couch*
robin: "hey, i just cleaned that off so i could sit there. don't be a mofo!"
abby: "yeah daddy, don't be a mofo!"