abigail_m was playing with her menagerie of dolls, and the newest addition, a glow-worm (that fortunately doesn't make noise anymore, owing to some wire "surgery" with a pair of scissors). I was watching, drinking coffee. When Abby walked away I picked up the glow-worm and pantomimed it drinking coffee, and then squeezed it to make it glow.

me: "look Abby, the caffeine makes it glow!"
Abby (scowling): "no! electricity makes it glow!"

poeticdream sidles up behind me, kisses me on the neck and in a sultry manner declares: "you are my chef du jour..."
me, confused: "uh, I'm your chef of the day??"
robin: "ohhhh, that's what that means?"

poeticdream: "i had fun with you today, Abby."
abigail_m: "I had fun with myself today too."

abby: "get in the bath!"
me: "I'm not hearing a word... do you know which one?"
abby: "go ahead, surprise me."

("Asking is just p-p-polite demanding." —Max Headroom)

abigail_m has drawn an orangish blob picture in TuxPaint.
abby: "print!" *clicks print*
*printer makes noises*
...
*printer makes more noises*
me: "is it printing another one?"
abby: "no. it's cleaning its print heads."
abby: "wait, it is printing another one! oh, thank you, printer!"

Abby has come to the conclusion that penises go in vulvas. From whence she got this notion, I do not know.

abigail_m: "penises go in vulvas."
...
me: "I didn't teach her that!"
poeticdream: "I didn't either!"
me, Robin: ???

Abby: "I want that toy."
me: "I know."
Abby: "I want that toy!"
me: "I know."
Abby: "'I want that toy!' she said excitedly."
*me & poeticdream guffaw and giggle*

oh, Abby, you know how to make us laugh.

poeticdream and me talking about painting the hallway:

me: "I'm going to paint the wall and drink beer, and then... [pauses for dramatic effect, then sways back and forth a bit] i'll be high!"
abigail_m whines: "i wish i could paint the walls and get high..."
me: "someday I'm sure you will, Abby."

it reminds me of a conversation Lindsay Leclair had with her mom when she was in high school: Lindsay: "I don't think I'll ever do drugs mom, I just don't get the point." her mom: "oh, you'll do them..."

The scene: Just now as abigail_m and I were walking up our driveway to the street level we saw two police cars that had pulled over someone for who-knows-what. The cops had the perp out of the car and were talking to him and rummaging around in his car.

me: "hey! they blocked the driveway!"
abigail_m: "what?"
me: "look, those two police cars parked right in front of our driveway!"
Abby: "yeah! it's like they think it's a parking lot!"

Abby will be three on Monday.

setting: earlier, at WRFR.

cast: abigail_m, poeticdream, and yours truly, riffraff.

[Abby produces a chocolate, by sleight of hand or magic, we're not sure which]

Robin, incredulously: "Abby, where'd you get chocolate from?"

Abby, triumphantly: "From my pocket!"

Robin: ...

Kim: *sputters and hyperventilates, laughing out of control*

Abby: "Take a deep breath..."

Robin: ...
Kim: ... *takes a deep breath*

earlier:

me: "ready for dinner?"
abigail_m: "noooo....."
me: "why not? aren't you hungry?"
abby: "i am, but... I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER dot com" *grin*
me: ...

poeticdream: "I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want some coffee?"
abigail_m: "No, I don't like coffee!"
Robin: "Why not?"
Abby: "Because it's too caffeinated."

abigail_m, smacking me on the chest lightly with a diaper (for emphasis) as we walk to change her diaper: "after *smack* this *smack* set of diapers *smack* I'm *smack* potty-trained. OK?"
me: "o rly?"
abby: "yes."

this is how it goes with her, she wears the old paradigm into the ground, then, one day out of the blue she chooses a new one and, more often than not, sticks with it.

abigail_m: "can i borrow your credit card because i don't have a credit card"

me: "I have pizza, yes I do. I like pizza, how about you?"
abigail_m: "I do!"
me: "that rhymes!"
poeticdream: "woohoo!"
me: "that does too!"

when did my daughter learn the word "officially"?

abby: "winking, blinking, winking blinking ..."
me: "fireflies at night."
abby: "but what's the rest of it?"
me: "i don't remember."
abby: "me either. i should google it."
me: "and, how would you do this?"
abby: "i would get on my computer and look for it on the internet."

poeticdream, to me: "When you were first learning to drive it was annoying when people would signal one way and then turn the other way. That's so fucking annoying!"

abigail_m, sounding slightly disappointed in her mommy: "Don't say 'fucking'!. I've told you so many times!"

[robin and I just sit there blinking and laughing at each other]

right after I got home tonight and was welcomed by poeticdream and abigail_m on the back deck the following conversation took place:

abby: "i pooped!"
me: "okay, I'll change your diaper then."
abby: "we need to go inside."
me: "okay, we'll go inside, get a diaper, and then we'll come back out and I'll change your diaper."
abby: "no, not right here."
me: "abby, I need to change your diaper."
abby: "noooooooo!"
me *puzzled*: "why not?"
abby: "because, if you change me out here on the deck and poop comes out, it'll be a poop deck!"

(as relayed by poeticdream)

abigail_m, after hearing a weather report on MPBN: "he said thunderstorms! he said thunderstorms! that makes me happy! that makes me so happy!!"